Huge Hawkeye win

Yesterday may be the loudest and most electric I have ever seen Kinnick in 25+ years of going to games! #3 Iowa Hawkeyes 🖤💛 over #4 Penn State (23-20)! The boys and I were at the game and Pierce and I went on the field! Memorable day for sure!

Kristin

Pierce

Max and Ashlyn Yakish

Graham and Ryann Decker

Pierce and Evan O'Connor

Heart filler

Max and I had about 15 minutes of uninterrupted time in the kitchen before he headed to school this morning. Priceless. No one else. No phone. No rush. Talkative. Where will we go on vacation this summer? International Costa Rica, Spain, Caribbean. Stateside - Malibu, Myrtle Beach, Montana. His bucket list now includes Daytona 500 and Indy. Wants to see Niagara Falls. Weather in areas of Florida. Talk about prom - only Liberty kids which is hard for him. Pet the dogs together. A hug, kiss on the check and "I love yous" as he heads to school. These are the moments that grab my heart. And make my heart hurt knowing he will put his wings to use in a year and a half. In the meantime, more of these please. 

Crevice

 I periodically message with my first cousin once removed who is actually a step cousin once removed. We are not close geographically and we are not close in our relationship. Mostly because her dad (Craig) and I are 10+ years apart in age and our grandparents (my grandma and his grandpa) married well after our parents were grown. I love watching Erin's family grow and I wish we were closer geographically so we could get to know each other. She started photography on the side so I always see wonderful true and posed photos of her three kids. Today she posted a photo of them stacking the sofa cushions and climbing all over. Her caption "Sigh. The witching hours. 3-5 in our house. Do whatever you want, kids. Pants are optional." I don't have the great photo she has - honestly it captures the moment and is perfect. I do though have a memory that she stirred inside and I shared it with her - 

"They will remember these days. My boys talk about playing "crevice" which meant throwing all the cushions, pillows, blankets on the floor and not falling in between as they ran around." Grateful for her post today which made her feel closer and brought me back to those days. My witching hours look different today (one at high school football practice, one hitting golf balls into the forest behind the house and one running around in the yard with friends) and I'd like to have them back making the mess in my house. Sometimes. Actually, sometimes they are and the messes are much bigger!!! 

Summer

These boys..... ran across this picture a bit ago as I was looking for my photo for Day 4 of participating in the "10 days of being a Mom" celebration on Facebook. My heart misses these days and yet is filled with knowing these little ones are inside my growing boys. 

May Day memories

 

2019

2004

2018

2011 or 2012?

2017

2006

2005

Today is May Day. We didn't make or deliver any baskets. Maybe it's because the boys hare too old. Maybe they were wrapped up in Graham, Elliot and Finn heading back to PA or the house construction or heading to Mitch's. Maybe I didn't push hard enough. I thought in middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, it would be fun. I also know times change. I also know, maybe, just maybe, if I'd had the things here, they would have been in. So next year, I'll have the supplies and be ready!  I loved the tissue paper idea our first year and how we kept with it. I remember in 2018, Graham only wanted to do them if we could do cups. Sure, if that's how we'll make it happen. Last year, Pierce had no interest until the last minute. And he too wanted cups. Whatever you want next year boys, this mom will be ready and all in! For tonight, I'm going to settle into the memories, maybe shed a couple of tears at not having done them this year, look for all the other years of photos and say a little prayer for 2021.

Thoughts

Living in this time is hard. Uncertainty. Questions. Unknown. Working from home. School cancelled. Self quarantines. Social distancing. People dying. I realize my family and I have it much better than others so I need to be upfront with that statement. So my entry is not for comparison in any way.

It's hard to not see Andy. Max and Grace cannot see each other. We cannot go to the gym. We don't get to make a run to Target because we need a couple of things. No going out to eat. No seeing my parents (Gamma and Gump). Not related to COVID-19 but playing a part - it snowed yesterday, seriously? and Ryah is going through heat for the first time. Fun. We don't get to play or watch sports with other people. I miss work already and the boys miss school.  My kids don't want academic time at home.

Here's though the other side. The boys, Ryah and I went for a walk together tonight. At 7:30. At Max's suggestion. We watched an episode of The Amazing Race Season 19. Max made most of dinner while Andy and I were on FaceTime working on some house things. Pierce helped Max clean his car and both of them enjoyed the time. All of us read books today. I took a nap. Ryah had lots of pets. Zoom, Skype and FaceTime exist for video interactions and we have all kinds of written media. Boys and I are writing letters/notes to people. We read the boys church daily devotion. We're keeping a gratitude journal. Pierce did math and grammar online and listened to two science podcasts. I'm seeing kindness in people that I miss. I like the slower pace. I have time to talk with my boys. I can connect with Andy just not in person and that will return. I feel love and calm among the scare and uncertainty.

I don't know exactly what tomorrow or ten days, ten weeks or ten months looks like. I know we'll get through. It's going to hurt. We're going to get frustrated, sad, mad as a family. We'll also laugh, love, sit peacefully together. I know we will all be changed. Our economy will be changed. I believe we will find that we come through this strong.

I like today's Bible Verse in the boys EPIC devotional plan for this week -
Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.

Moments

Settle in for sentimental, capture all the details, mom in this one...

In the midst of hustle and sports and school and work and arguing siblings and mom wanting things done, there are multiple moments that make me smile, melt my heart and think life is pretty darn good.

Tonight all three boys were home at the same time and we had almost 30 minutes at the dinner table. Seriously that alone made me happy. We did all miss Andy - each boy asked separately if he was going to join us for dinner. His busy season is in full swing and he worked until well past 9:00 tonight. In part that was from having spent Saturday and Sunday with us in Ames for Graham's state basketball tournament and we're very glad he choose the weekend over tonight.

Dinner was topped by talks of the future family dog, spring break and my birthday. The last two were good but let's focus on the family dog.

The boys excitement has grown exponentially since yesterday's car ride and me actually saying "I'm ready for this to come out of my mouth. I'm ready for us to get a dog." Let's be honest, my excitement is growing too. Fast. Sure, I'm scared of the time, the work, even the money. But I also remember the delight in having a dog, the happiness, the fun, the unconditional love. And I know how much the boys want this. So we're moving forward. Yep, here we are.

Tonight's focus was on names. Discussion. Lists online. Laughing at each other. Ruling out names. We ended up with a list of 11 on the white board. Max took charge which added to the fun. He wrote them down and then had us each vote for our four favorites. Color coded and all as can be seen in the photo. Much to my delight, Rolo is approved as a possibility. I'll let Max take his credit for coming up with it months ago. We go right along with Cleo, Athena is getting some attention. Max suggested we give Andy, Gamma and Gump two votes each so they could be involved. Love this kid. Once we have their votes, we'll narrow to four. He's keeping the white board under lock and key. Comparable to the Declaration of Independence he said. I'll take it.

What will we name Miss Spanish Water Dog?

Graham so badly wanted to mess up the white board. He was picking on Max and me for not wanting to erase the names that didn't have a single vote from one of the four of us. He said Max was trying to make it too perfect. Pierce jumped in with Graham and I simply smiled knowing everyone was playing the exact role I would expect.

Max decided he was the Dog name commissioner. Fees of $50 to get to vote, $75 for each vote and a $25 change fee. He's keeping the white board in his room so no one can change it. He and I had a great conversation over dinner clean-up about the responsibility and happiness of a dog. He said he's all in for caring, thinks Pierce won't do as much as he should and that Graham will be somewhere in the middle. Right on. Max is showing me in all kinds of ways just how he feels about this dog coming into our family and I am grateful that at 15 he wants one as much if not more than everyone else.

Now to get Andy and my parents to vote so we can narrow down these dog names!

I can't not mention Pierce and my short conversation tonight while on the computer together. "It would be so fun to have a dog beside us right now. Petting her. She's going to love our family."

Pierce added to my night as we snuggled at bedtime. He told me he's afraid he's not going to know how to do his taxes and will some day be homeless. What? He said he feels like he won't know how to buy a house or do his taxes or the important things. I assured him he'll learn. He asked how I knew and I told him mom and dad, reading, college, and the bank helped me learn and that he'd have the same help. I wanted to just pull him and tell him to never worry about anything like this even though I know it's a natural thing (and maybe that he hears a lot about taxes right now!) He went on to tell me "maybe I'll just always live in your house." I told him I'll have to make sure to have a big house but that I think he can live on his own. "Maybe I can live in the Nueske." Perhaps you can Pierce. And this led to "Do you think Andy and you will ever get married?" Pause.....

"I care a lot about Andy. I don't know if we will or if Andy wants to get married again or if I do. We're happy together. I know that."

"I hope you do."

"I love him a lot and I know he cares a lot for all of us."

"We care about him, too." Silence for a bit. "I love you, mom."

P.S. Back to my birthday and spring break. The boys are so hoping Andy and the boys go with us. Since we don't know all the details yet, I haven't changed my verbiage from "I hope it works" to "yep, we're going to make it happen." Excited to tell them! And as for my birthday, I love that this morning when Pierce and I were talking about it he was so excited that he said he needed to text his brothers and Andy. More moments to warm my heart.

Christmas Tree Hunting

After our tree was all decorated and all the boys helped, Max commented that he thinks next year we should go back to going to a tree farm, picking out our own and cutting it down. "I love doing that," he said.

I'm in buddy. We stopped because the boys lost interest and one year we were very short on time. I should never have let it stop. So next year, strong boy, we're doing it and you're in charge! The journey, the memories, the selection, the work and the laughter are priceless. And sometimes the scrawniest trees, the one that looks like it will not be anything, is the one filled with most memories. My parents told the story again this year of our Charlie Brown Tree and the one that had to be tied up to stay up.

Here's to enjoying this season and the trek of finding the tree next year. 

Thankful

At bedtime Pierce and Graham both crawled into my bed of flannel sheets partially because they love sleeping in my bed and partially because it is really cold (school is on a two hour delay tomorrow) and my room and bed are snuggly.

The best moment cam from my 9 year old - "Mom, will you snuggle me when you come to bed?"

"You bet, of course!" The only thing more enthusiastic was the skip of my heart.

Memories

I am sitting at Chicago O'Hare waiting for my 11:00 flight to New York City. My mom will be here in an hour and in just over four hours we'll meet Nell Lynn at Laguardia. My excitement may be palpable.

I was reminded this morning of one of the reasons I am going. After 6-10 trips there over the course of about three years, the last times I was in NYC were in 2003. They were my mom and sister's first and only trips to NYC. Here we are about to do it again. Life has changed some since then and there are five kids between us (I was pregnant with Max when I went last time) yet the thrill of this time with them is the same. The reason I am going is the memory of this last time and to make more with them.

Here's to a new photo of all three of us!

End of an era (or at least almost two decades)

I might have pushed back a couple of tears today.

I sent this email to friends tonight - 

Because each of you make my life better and have a part in this story, I'm sharing this....

Tonight, while Mitch is in Wisconsin with the boys, I helped move our kitchen table and chairs out of our home. They are heading to a new adventure with 20 month old Aden who is ready to sit at the table but needs chairs that are easily wiped and his parents who have the patience and talent to refinish the set. Chairs to the kitchen for them and table to a craft space.

From 

• the boys' fork marks to
• the burn from a hot slow cooker at Mitch's 40th birthday to
• cramming a dozen + people around the table and a card table to
• the "sure it's okay to play quarters on the table; it's old" (that was ten years ago) marks to
• all the laughter of friends and family to
• firsts with the kids to
• Cleo sniffing for a quick bite off the end to
• lots of cookie dough and play-doh rolling to
• "four on the floor" and "God created a chair with four legs" to
• moving it from Mount Horeb, WI to Middleton, WI to Coral Court to Walden Road to Lockview Place

this set leaves my mind crammed with memories and so many smiles. Ryan will sand out the marks and Melissa will paint over stains erasing the visibility of the memories. For me the memories will always reamin and are some of the best I have in my life. I'm thankful to have shared many of those with you and thankful it's GONE!!

Think I'll enjoy a glass of wine on the rug in the open space.

And for those on the adventure of finding a new table with me, we did find one. 

A day with Pierce and 20 years

Our day in Iowa City and on the UI campus. Perfect!

Today was Pierce and my day to do what we wanted and we agreed, spending time in Iowa City, on the campus of the University of Iowa was the "what."

Here's the run down - 

• Spence Labs to participate in a study
• Watch construction
• Shop at AKAR
• Watch construction
• Pick-up pottery at Fired-up
• Go to New Pioneer to wander and then pick out cookies and milk to take on our visit to Mitch
• Cookies and milk with Mitch at his office and a few stops to say hi to people Pierce knows.
• Watched Hancher construction
• Rode Cambus the long way to downtown - talked about our favorite places along the way, I answered questions, watched construction and saw the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile!
• Played on the Pentecrest
• Got drinks at The Den and looked at all the Hawkeye apparel
• Played in the Pedestrian Mall Fountain
• Played on the Ped Mall playground
• Ate at Noodles and Company
• Sat on the Pentecrest
• Rode the Cambus



Cookies and milk with dad at his office!

• Smiled, laughed and held hands - a LOT of each

FABULOUS DAY!

And to top it off, I was taken back to my official start to my University of Iowa journey almost exactly 20 years ago. In July 1993, I came for orientation to a campus covered in water from the flood of '93 and I fell in love. I'm thankful for all this place has given me, for what I've learned and that I now call this place home with my family.

Splish Splash in the Ped Mall Fountain!

Seriously, Pierce would ride the Cambus around campus all day, everyday.

Remembering Ray

At dinner tonight, Mitch and Max recounted the story of Ray in 2010 as the neighbor kids walked home from school on the last day -  

"How many days until the first day of school?"

Then again in the fall as they headed to school, "How many days until summer vacation?" 

This, of course, led to showcasing the "Iowa wave" to Ian. The Iowa Wave consists of sticking one's thumb at the end of your nose and wiggling your fingers or sticking your thumb in a bottle (likely a beer bottle) and waving your fingers. I can still remember the night he first said that when we were at Clifford's Fish Fry.

Lots of smiles, memories and laughter at dinner. 

He was entertaining. 

Mom in the middle

My boys and me!

My Mother's Day was spent at the ballpark. Yes, I would have loved our Red's brunch reservation to work and a peaceful day at home or maybe playing at the park. But as I remembered the hug from Graham early this morning, Max playing catch with me and Pierce asking me to hold his hand while he fell asleep tonight, I was reminded that it doesn't matter how or where I spend Mother's Day. It only matter's that I am blessed to be the mother to three boys, to honor my wonderful mother and to spend the day in the middle of all of them. Happy Mother's Day to all who are called mom by someone.

The one who has taught me so much about being a mother.

And thanks to the boys and Mitch for the most perfect gifts. Butterflies made from the kids' hand-prints with notes rolled inside for a special date with each of them. (Thanks for the work on these, Mitch!) Pierce requested a trip to Noodles and Company, Graham wants to go to "campis" (campus) and Max will do whatever I want. Max made me a coil pot at school; Graham wrote a card and the things he loves about me, what makes me smile, why he loves me and what he wants to tell me; and Pierce made a flower pot drawing and wrote about playing with me. Someone top the thought and love that went into those!

A perfect start to Mother's Day!

Full house

I completely enjoyed the quiet, come and go as I want, adult conversation with Mitch time while the boys were at my parents a few days this week (thank you, HUGE, to my mom and dad). But my house just feels complete with three boys resting after playing outside and a husband enjoying the NCAA tournament. Savor these times.

706 Gould Street, Gladbrook, Iowa

Tonight when I was on Facebook for less than five minutes, I saw a photo that impacted me quickly and unexpectedly. Mary Gayle Stowe posted the photo above of the front porch of her house in Gladbrook, Iowa. Yes, lots of snow and much of it unexpected. What caught my eye though, was the yellow house in the background. The house I lived in from the summer of 1977 until August 1985. A house filled with memories, laughter, family, and love. I think so often of that house which I haven't been in it since shortly after we moved or by it, I'm guessing, in fifteen years. Wow. I've thought so many times that I want to take all four boys to Gladbrook and share that part of my childhood with them. I felt it even more as I ran downstairs to show them the photo, talk about Stowes and share this piece of my childhood with them. As I was talking to them and telling about how old I was when we lived in that house, I realized I was each of their ages in it. I suddenly better saw myself at their ages. Below is the note I wrote to Mary Gayle.

You have no idea how my heart smiled and how quickly a little tear came to my eyes when I saw this photo tonight. Your non-intended inclusion of 706 Gould hit me in a way I didn't expect. I haven't seen that house in YEARS. I went to the boys and Mitch right away to show them and share stories. This is one of the wonderful things about Facebook. I have no doubt that when Mary Loupee sees this, she'll feel the same. Thank you for snapping and sharing this photo!

Update: After finishing this, I kept thinking about growing up in Gladbrook. I don't think about Gladbrook without thinking about all the teachers I loved - Mrs. Buck, Mrs. Ball, Mrs. Fish (two years. No, Janel, I was not held back, she taught 2nd, then 3rd) and Ms. Berger. All wonderful but no doubt, my favorite teacher, Mrs. Fish. I haven't seen her in years after stopping on nearly every visit back to Gladbrook those first few years. I periodically, check in with her son, Dennis on Facebook as we were in school together, or I try other ways to find out how she is or what she's doing. We write at Christmas - although I didn't hear from her this year - but otherwise, haven't been in touch in years. Tonight I found an article in the Northern Sun Print (Gladbrook's newspaper) about her her serving hot dogs to trick-or-treaters each year. I couldn't help but send a note to Denny with the article attached.

After a photo by Mary Gayle Stowe captured my eye tonight (our house was in the background), I've had Gladbrook on my mind. I don't think about those years without thinking of your mom. I found this story and smiled ear to ear thinking how fun this must be for all the kids and her. Definitely started in the late 1980s or I would have been the first in line! Give her my hello and a hug.

P and me

Walking home from the Bisgards laughing. Dinner at the kitchen bar including smoothies and blond brownies.  A fort. The movie Bedtime Stories. Snuggling and laughing on the beanbag. Eyes wide with love. Bedtime stories. Now watching the little one asleep in my bed with his blanket and Ted. Loved my one-on-one time with Pierce tonight. Thankful for Bodie Bisgard inviting Max and Graham to an overnight birthday party and Mitch visiting Pete in New Berlin. Need to get me more of this one-on-one time.

Handprints

When the power goes out and you innocently shine the flashlight on the hallway walls, you see the handprints you will someday wish to find along those same walls.

After sharing my unexpected find with Mitch and smiling thinking about one of them, probably Pierce, stopping to look at something on the way to the bathroom, I washed the wall with a smile to childhood in my heart.

Busy fun!

Here's a rundown of our Memorial Day weekend so far and it's just a bit before 5:00 pm on Saturday!

• two trips to the pool
• two evenings spent with friends
• a trip to the batting cages
• camping in the backyard
• a birthday party
• North Liberty BBQ and Blues
• a 5 mile run - VERY hot
• errands
• gardening
• breakfast with friends
• now four sleeping boys

Great holiday weekend and it's not over - still have tonight's BBQ, another trip to the pool tomorrow and one more night in the tent!

Steve Jobs, 56, former Apple CEO, passes away

As I simply posted earlier - Steve Jobs changed how we all work, think and play. A brilliant man who impacted our culture in a lifetime cut short. A legacy for our time and many to come.

Steve Jobs stepped down as CEO at Apple in August because he could no longer perform his responsibilities. Today, he passed away. He is an icon, creating a legacy for all generations living today and those to come. Our first family computer was an Apple II model (maybe the iie) and now I'm watching people's excitement with the iPhone 5. I'm just to the iPod touch and getting my hands occasionally on an iPad.

From co-founding Apple with Steve Wozniak and two others in Silicon Valley, California in 1976, to leaving Apple for other successful endeavors to returning to Apple in1996 to today, he has changed the way we work, play and think. He should be proud of what he accomplished in his professional career. I am grateful for what he's given us and I mourn his passing - mostly for his family who will miss him personally.

Tim Cook, Jobs successor at Apple wrote the following: Cook sent a statement to employees that in part read: "Apple has lost a visionary and creative genius, and the world has lost an amazing human being. Those of us who have been fortunate enough to know and work with Steve have lost a dear friend and an inspiring mentor. Steve leaves behind a company that only he could have built, and his spirit will forever be the foundation of Apple."