Overnight, a dog and college

A text from Laura this morning after an overnight for the three musketeers. May have melted my heart.  And this was following a big Friday at school when the boys learned their 3rd grade teacher assignments - Connor and Pierce together, Emerson on his own. Boys are pretty bummed.

Boys were great. We had a fun time with them. P may be tired. We tried several times to get them to stop chatting and sleep but I think it was 1:45 when they finally gave in😳 I heard all about how the 3 of them want to get a dog and share it. That turned into going to college together and sharing 2 dogs as roommates. They were even discussing how they were going to pay for the dogs because they know they are expensive😉 I even managed to get 1 good pic!

Taste of Iowa City

10 years of Taste of Iowa City - I believe all of them with Dana Simcox and Damian Simcox. We've had extreme heat, rain, usually nine of us, often a stroller, our favorite stops, and enough time to sit on a bench or blanket. This year there were four of us for the fun and a speed round. We represented well and hit four key spots - The Den, Pancheros, Graze and Zmariks. Thank you Iowa City Downtown District and University of Iowa.

Bathroom sleepover conversation

While Pierce (5.5) was in the shower and Finn (almost 5) was going to the bathroom the I overheard the following - 

Finn, "Pierce, after the movie should we talk a little while before we go to sleep?"

Pierce, "I think so."

How old are these two? 

The Sanctuary Pub - Thank you

The five of us made a mad dash for dinner tonight before Max's basketball game. The boys wanted pizza, it was the Dine Out to Help Out 1105 for the 1105 Project and it seemed perfect to eat out on a rainy night!

Restaurant selected - The Sanctuary. We hadn't been in some time - the boys never - and we love the pizza. The pizza did not fail any of us. As we sat there, I was thinking about my first post-college visit and how much I'd enjoyed that night. We had dinner with our now very good friends the Dreusickes. Mitch and I were on the same page because he said to all of us "I remember my first trip to the Sanctuary and being with the Dreusickes for one of the very first times."

On top of that, we saw Steve and Laura McLeran which is always great and a couple that brings a smile to my boys' faces as they get the update on Sam!

Thanks to the Sanctuary for more than dinner. I'd forgotten the significant difference between the usual take out pizza we have and the sit down in a restaurant type. We supported the 1105 Project. We briefly saw the McLerans. And we took a short trip down memory lane.

**The 1105 Project is a campaign to raise $1.2 million by 2014 to renovate 1105 Gilbert Court in Iowa City to move services of the Free Lunch Program, National Alliance on Mental Health Illness and the Domestic Violence Intervention Program under one roof next to the Crisis Center. (http://the1105project.com/)

End of an era (or at least almost two decades)

I might have pushed back a couple of tears today.

I sent this email to friends tonight - 

Because each of you make my life better and have a part in this story, I'm sharing this....

Tonight, while Mitch is in Wisconsin with the boys, I helped move our kitchen table and chairs out of our home. They are heading to a new adventure with 20 month old Aden who is ready to sit at the table but needs chairs that are easily wiped and his parents who have the patience and talent to refinish the set. Chairs to the kitchen for them and table to a craft space.

From 

• the boys' fork marks to
• the burn from a hot slow cooker at Mitch's 40th birthday to
• cramming a dozen + people around the table and a card table to
• the "sure it's okay to play quarters on the table; it's old" (that was ten years ago) marks to
• all the laughter of friends and family to
• firsts with the kids to
• Cleo sniffing for a quick bite off the end to
• lots of cookie dough and play-doh rolling to
• "four on the floor" and "God created a chair with four legs" to
• moving it from Mount Horeb, WI to Middleton, WI to Coral Court to Walden Road to Lockview Place

this set leaves my mind crammed with memories and so many smiles. Ryan will sand out the marks and Melissa will paint over stains erasing the visibility of the memories. For me the memories will always reamin and are some of the best I have in my life. I'm thankful to have shared many of those with you and thankful it's GONE!!

Think I'll enjoy a glass of wine on the rug in the open space.

And for those on the adventure of finding a new table with me, we did find one. 

1100 eggs + 21 families = neighborhood fun

One of my very favorite times of the year in our neighborhood is Easter. The real meaning of Easter, celebrating the death and rising of Christ is enough to love it but when you throw in our Easter egg hunt, my heart grows just a little. This year we had 21 families, 45 (I think) kids seeking eggs, 4 more kids taking helping to hid and lots of parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents laughing, taking photos, helping kids, talking and taking it all in. Everyone is so grateful for the gathering and the fun for the kids. It makes me so grateful to live among these people and celebrate holidays. And Mother Nature cooperated with a few sprinkles when we started hiding and holding back until we were finished. I'm ready for the 10th annual already!

1000+ eggs and prizes ready for the
9th Annual Lockview Place
Easter Egg Hunts

40+ kids ready to go!!!!

Marriage

Our first marriage proposal from one of the boys came tonight. Max and Graham have always shied away from any serious or silly conversation about if they have a girlfriend or plan to marry someone. Tonight was no different although some conversation clearly happened earlier that I missed. I'll have to remember to ask Mitch in the morning.

Mitch, "Graham, tell mom about the kids in your class who are going to get married." 

"Dad, that was in like kindergarten," Graham sheepishly answers. "I do know who Landon is going to marry. Landon is going to marry Meghan."

"Meghan Carlson?" I ask. 

"Yes." End of conversation.

And at the other end of the table, Pierce jumped right in about his marriage.

"I'm going to get married," Pierce confidently tells me over dinner.

"Who are you going to marry?" I respond with a giggly smile.

"I'm going to marry my friend, Lauren at school [Montessori]." 

"Okay," me giving a smile back to the giddy four-year old beside me. Maybe he has his first crush.

Pierce is smiling and thinking now, "And a boy can marry a boy or a girl a girl. But mostly a boy marries a girl."
"Sure, Pierce."
Nothing more, just that, and he moves to the conversation that has occurred a dozen times among the boys over the years, "When Dad and you were married, where were Max, Graham and me?" 

"You were not born yet. We had all of you after we were married."

I am thankful that tonight the questions ended there and Pierce was content with the world of marriage.

One son and two friends/neighbor kids married off tonight. Big weekend.

On your mark, get set, go!

The thirty-five minutes of Max, Graham, Evan, Landon, Lucas and Pierce in our kitchen tonight with Mitch and I will rank as one of the funniest, fastest moving conversations of my life. Only thing funnier would have been adding Ethan.

I never thought a conversation among boys could move so fast and be so debated -

1. Discuss winter break - sledding at Kent Park and Brown Deer; favorite gifts - iPod touch, Skylanders, electric scooter, Madden 13. Think you (meaning me) could talk with Meghan so we can text each other. Can we do Facetime?
2. Discuss baseball - Beckmans went through St. Louis so saw the Cardinals Stadium. Chandlers love the Cardinals. How could Pierce wear a Brewers shirt in St. Louis? 
3. Discuss football - favorite NFL teams, is Coach Ferentz leaving the Hawkeyes? who will coach the KC Chiefs if he does not. Confirm he is not leaving the Hawkeyes. 
4. School - School was awful today. We didn't get to go outside.
5. Scouts - what are we doing tonight. We can't go to Pinewood Derby because mom has a work party and I think she's getting us a sitter. We're not doing Scouts next year because we don't have time for other things. Side conversation between G and Lucas "Lucas, are you staying in Scouts." Lucas, "I am next year and for a long time."
6. Birthday party - Someone suggests Evan and Ethan should also come to Graham's party this weekend. Now let's debate who is a friend with who and is it okay for different ages to go. Graham is having more than just first graders so maybe we all can go.

That's just a summary. Wow, even I was tired listening to this. I'm amazed they all left on time for Scouts.

Marriage arrangment

At what point is it too early to sign two children up for a marriage in a binding contract in the U.S.? My girlfriend, Erica, and I have talked about marrying off her third, Maryn and my second, Graham since Graham was about two and Maryn a year. Again tonight it came up in conversation. The kids play well together, like each other. Erica, Chad, Mitch and I are fine with it. We can do it, right? This will be a perfect beginning of a happily ever after today.

Maryn and Graham, some day you'll hear the stories about your independence, belonging in the zoo because you're monkeys climbing on everything, your risk taking, the fact that nothing scares you, you challenging yourselves and your parents, being from the same mold only for different genders and that God got rid of it when he was done with each of you (not because he didn't love you but because you two are so unique and crazy that two is enough!), how we said even at this age we could never imagine leaving either of you home alone (or with each other) because of what you might do, your adorable loks and how at each turn you made us frustrated and yet we smiled and loved you even more. You'll probably fit these same descriptions when we tell you the stories!

You'll thank us for marriage arrangement and agree we were right. Here's to our families!

Happy heart

Today I made three things that remind me of home and great friends - cavatini for dinner (Kathy Johnson's recipe), bran muffins for breakfast tomorrow (my mom's recipe) and French Vanilla dessert to take to Thoensens for dinner tomorrow (Sue Bohner's recipe). They all make my heart smile. 

I remember the muffin mix in the big coffee can in our refrigerator when I was a kid. Karri and I ate countless meals of cavatini on Lafayette Avenue. Ryan's mom's dessert is one of the few things I like with chocolate. Not only do I have fond memories of all these things growing up and with Karri and Ryan (friends don't come any better than these two since fifth grade!) but Mitch and the three boys love all three so they are staples in our house. 

Love.

Maybe sharing a room is okay

Pierce sure loves brother Graham. When asked by me if he wanted to sleep in my room tonight (Mitch is in Madison with friends for the Wisconsin vs. Ohio State football game tomorrow and Max and Graham are Scouts night at the hockey game then staying at Ian's), he says

"just until G gets home. Then I want to go to my room."

Me, "Graham is sleeping at Ian's house all night."

Pierce, "but I always want to sleep in our room with him."

Makes me smile but I do wonder, how long will this last?

Election 1992

I love watching the election results role in every four years and listening to the predictions. I credit all the hours Dean Fiihr and I spent predicting and studying the campaigns and then the hours spent on election night with our papers spread out and the discussion going on in my parents family room in 1992 for my love of this evening. We were so right on with our work for Mr. Wagner! Here's to 1992 Clinton vs. Bush!

A friends' words

My friend has recently been very complimentary of my kids after walking to school, playing in the neighborhood, biking to school, playing at her home, and eating dinner at her house. I really value what Jenny says because she's a good friend, lives in our neighborhood so sees our kids and many others regularly and she's around kids all day as a teacher.

She talks about that they are kind and considerate. They respect what she asks of them. They follow the rules. She can trust them with what she asks. She said "I'm a big fan of your kids." Yes, I'm bragging a bit and my pride has grown recently thanks to her. I love my kids and believe they are wonderful but then don't most parents believe that about their kids?  It's just something different and SO touching when someone else experiences that and shares it with you. Sometimes it comes when you're challenged by a child and sometimes when things are going along quite nicely. Either way, for me, it goes straight to my heart. Her words will be kept in the front of my mind. I've told her I appreciate her kinds words - I only hope she knows how deeply.

Thanks, Jenny.

Well said

In the midst of the Presidential Campaign (President Obama is speaking at the Democratic National Convention right now and Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney spoke last Thursday night), I'm hear so many words by one candidate against the other. I want the focus to be on what he will do for me, for my family, for my country. I don't need the negative. I just wish those of who who felt this way could speak up loud enough to make a difference. I love politics and I love the debates but the slinging doesn't do anything for me.

My friend Howard posted this on Facebook today and it sums it up well -

"is reminded again and again why election cycles both excite him and disturb him. It's exhausting. It's exciting that we have bloodless revolutions every four years. It's disturbing that it causes us to playing to most expensive game of I'm rubber and you're glue what you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Not really mature or healthy and yet we all continue to buy into it. I hope my guy wins but I hope we can all realize the President can only take us so far before we the people have to make it happen. Be change."

Quiet

The boys are still at Danelle and Kent's and return home tomorrow. Wow, is it quiet. I won't lie, I've enjoyed the peacefulness, non-interrupted sleep nights, running a bit later in the morning, a bit of catch-up at work, drinks and dinner with Simcoxes Monday night and Fishmans tonight. (Note, I did not say catch-up at home - thanks to other fun things like friends and Olympics watching!!). It's a blessing to have the time with Mitch and I have no doubt all of them are having a fantastic time. Tomorrow though, I'll enjoy the hugs and smiles of my boys.

Success

Iowa City Trojans White 9U Baseball Team - One fun season!!! - Coach Steve Fishman, Klein Thoensen, Max Beckman, Nolan Stern, Connor Curtis, Fred Syata, Coach Jeff Mehmen, Coach Mark Stern, Brody Fishman, Tristen Mehmen, Zach Andersen, Drew Snyder, Baylee Zacharis, Evan Chandler

It's true that success is not always measured on the field. A win on the field is important and feels great but it's not everything.

Max's 9U Trojan team didn't come out on top at the Iowa USSSA (United States Specialty Sports Association - finally looked that one up tonight) 9U A State Tournament this weekend. The team wasn't even in the top half in the end. It was a tough weekend but wow did those boys play some good, hard ball. More than anything though, the coaches, parents and even the boys saw so much improvement. The fly balls caught, the double plays, the doubles hit, the hard pitches thrown, and just basic things done well this weekend. So many things to be proud of this season. Sure, they have lots to work on and the next round of tryouts will be here soon but for tonight, it's a night of rest and maybe even a bit of reflecting for all of us.

Ready to hit. A tough weekend at bat for Max, a successful weekend in right field.

The boys learned the importance of teamwork, playing hard, never giving up, keeping a positive attitude, playing with hussle, the game isn't over until the umpires say it is, understanding that calls aren't always right, accepting a loss and moving on, trying harder when it seemed they couldn't give more and realizing that you have to want to win. The boys became friends and laughed, ran, cheered together and in the end even shed a few tears together.

The coaches challenged the boys. They brought skills and rules and new ideas. There were teaching moments and frustrating outbursts. They cared about each child. They told boys where they needed to improve and how proud they were for improvements. Coaches were the first to reprimand and the first to shout with excitement over a play or a hit. The coaches made this season work.

Friendships were made among the families (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) as we spent our weekends and weeknights sharing triumphs and defeats. The families stood beside every kid, every game, never accusing one child or one play for the loss of a game and never giving all the glory to one team member. Parents cheered when a boy got his first hit, caught the hard catch, achieved his first strike out or slid into home on a steal. The friendships grew at the fields, via email, through photos and in the yards of homes. It was about a bigger family of eleven young boys.

I'm thankful - honestly didn't know if I'd feel this way when we started - for the journey of this baseball season. I learned a lot about myself, Max, the rest of the males in my family, my friends, new people, competitive youth baseball, the concession stand needs of small children, the best ways to keep kids busy, how older siblings rise to caring for and befriending little ones, I'm not the only one who loves photos and video moments, and just how much Gatorade, water and sunflower seeds a team and families can consume.

Love you, Max! #31

At bedtime, Max confirmed that it was a season well spent and a success when he did his thankfuls.

"I am thankful for a good baseball season and I wish it never had to end." Just a bit later this was followed by "Dad, do you think Coach Fishman will schedule some practices soon?" And while we were chatting at the very end of our night time routine, he talked about missing his new friends from the team, wanting practice lots of nights and being excited to play again.

Good work, Max. Congratulations on your first season!

A Reminder to Me

From Kathryn Howe today -

"If I had my child to raise all over again, I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later. I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I’d take more hikes and fly more kites. I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I’d do more hugging and less tugging." - Diane Loomans


Sometimes I'm equally good at both sides of this quote. I'd like to work harder to tip the scales while I am still raising my children. Thank you.

Ready for Summer

Only this year on St. Patrick's Day would it be warm enough (at least for this crew) in Iowa to play in the water!

Locked out

"Mom, come here." As usual, I do exactly what I'm told and from the top of the stairs, this is the view last night. Max, Graham, Pierce and Ian were laughing and dancing on the other side of this cleverly made wall. Clearly, we (Mitch, Tad and Cathy Gates included) were not wanted in the lower level. Does make me a bit concerned about what four boys were doing....

A long friendship

I spent the better part of today with Karri. As usually is the case with our time together, it goes way to fast and could have been days and still not enough. That's what happens when you're with someone who you've known since fifth grade (that makes 26 years this fall) and you fall right back into the best friend routine. A bit of shopping and then lots of talking on our deck over a beverage and lunch.

The stories just roll between us - the endless afternoons we spent with each other never telling our parents, just going because they knew we were at one of the houses and then all the overnights in the summer; visits to each other once she moved to Grinnell; softball including when we were locked out of Karen's grandparents house while taking a photo; wedding plans; overnights at my grandparents; learning to drive and Kelly going over the curb with the van; the Beat Club; on and on. Catching up on who has talked with who recently. Of course, we now share the stories of life in our thirties - our kids and husbands, school, kids' friendships, family challenges, what we want to do with our homes, dream vacations,, fitness/diet/exercise, parents kids growing up (Braden was asking a girl for her phone number today! Mike knew what was going on but Karri had to be filled in. This will be my life with three boys!) and the everyday things we do. Everything and anything. That's how we chat and like that with no one else.

Couldn't ask for more today except time with her. I am blessed and grateful for this friendship.